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On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “highly unrealistic”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you’re like, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are typically succeeded by a “sudden low”, a period when he feels overwhelmed and embarrassed about his conduct, leaving him particularly vulnerable to criticism from others. He began to think he might have this personality condition after investigating his behaviors on the internet – and subsequently confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he doubts he would have taken the label if he hadn’t already reached that realization personally. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – most notably if they harbor feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And within that framework, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Although people have been called narcissists for over 100 years, definitions vary what is meant by the term. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” explains a psychology professor, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people conceal it, as there is widespread prejudice linked to the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to bolster one’s self-esteem through behaviors including seeking admiration,” the professor explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in The Disorder

Although a significant majority of people found to have narcissistic personality disorder are men, studies suggests this figure does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that female narcissism is typically appears in the covert form, which is under-identified. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” explains a young adult who shares content on her co-occurring conditions on digital platforms. It is not uncommon, the two disorders co-occur.

Personal Struggles

It’s hard for me with receiving negative comments and being turned down,” she says, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I often enter defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Despite having this behavior – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her loved ones, as she aims to avoid falling into the negative conduct of her previous life. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she admits. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she explains she and her current boyfriend “operate with an understanding where I told him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood primarily in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples in her youth. I’ve had to teach myself all this time what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say during a fight because it wasn’t modeled for me as a kid,” she says. “Nothing was off-limits when my relatives were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Underlying Factors of NPD

Conditions like NPD tend to be associated with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to manage during childhood”, he states, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those same mechanisms as adults”.

Similar to other of the individuals with NPD, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old explains when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve high marks and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “acceptable.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships were successful. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he admits. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “highly empathetic of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he explains – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Following an appointment to his GP, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was given the NPD label. He has been recommended for psychological counseling via government-funded care (extended treatment is the primary approach that has been proven effective NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: “They said it is expected around early next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a handful of people about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that all narcissists are abusers”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. “It helps me to understand myself better, which is positive,” he explains. Those interviewed have acknowledged their condition and are looking for support for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the condition. But the existence of NPD content creators and the rise of online support communities point to {more narcissists|a growing number